These i Owe you.
~So let me start with today.
today woke at 12+ went for basketball. now suffering a headache & lil' bro's making a racket. sigh. played match with woodgrove sec2/1 today. we sorta trashed them. well sure i'm happy. but it's not lyk we're pro. urgh. my throbbing head is pushing me off the cliff. listening to THREE CHEERS FOR FIVE YEARS-MAYDAY PARADE. abd yes, now i'm pretty much annoyed. over lil petty things. i wanna just run & hope i end up in some place where i du have to think.
So since the last post, things have happened. *MISERABLE AT BEST-MAYDAY PARADE
how i wish it's alrite for me to cry without having ppl judging me. but i won't let myself. cos it's just, weak. weakness. damn friggin' emotions. life. i want it so and not want it at all. can't talk, can't breathe. i'm not so strong, sure everyone sees that. hardest part of life is taking breaths to live. i agree so. it may seem lyk it's simple. but really isit? so when i went to the spca talk, saw utt there. was awesome but i cldn't care much after a while. i can't remember any more stuff worth noting here. cos it's just my problem being in the way of anthing else. nothing feels lyk home. familiar stranger. me. looking into the mirror i see sumone that everyone can't see. weak, brittle, in constant tears. do you hear or see me? sure it's easy for ppl to ask, "hey u alrite?" i'll reply "yeah" then they'll be okay. how much does anyone, ANYONE noe me? less then them knowing how big the universe is. i dun mind listening to others' problems, i can burrow myself in trying to solve them. i can tell them things that i dun believe in but they will. who's gonna give me that? when i know it's all lies. trying to reason with myself is just a pure waste of time. i want to lie in a nice patch of grass where i can just see the star litted sky. and no one will bother me. dreams... just illusions that mess u up. can i cry? no. cos everyone will look at me funny. hence the mask. the thick layers of mask for self-protection. so no one can find the real person to attack. to be safe, i'll just wear those masks.

9:08 PM
"these words were never easier for me to say or her to 2nd guess. i guess, i can live without u, but without u i'll be miserable at best"