God, can u kill me now? pls. now. right here, right now. i hate this life.dammit. God, i've lost you, & now here i am. crying lyk an idiot. TAKE MY LIFE AWAY NOW!!!!!! i dun care anymre. i'm being self-centred now by asking you to take it. but i can't stand it no mre. God. KILL ME! dun send ppl to do it, they'll just get condemned. give me an illness or sumthing. make me suffer. make me suffer and die a horrible death. a horrible death is what i deserve for being a horrible person. God. GOD KILL ME! let me suffer then die. make me suffer. make me hate this world more than how i alrdy have. make me hate everyone on it. no misery can come to my death abt having to leave the ppl i love. make me suffer & die so i can be with You. so i can escape from this hell hole. i dare not take it myself, God help me get rid of this burden. i've been a burden all my life. my life itself is a mistake. something that shld have never been allowed to graze the face of the world.a curse. a burden. take it from me, cos i'm human n oh so weak unable to take it away by myself. that's all i am, all i ever will be. human, weak.

1:45 PM
"these words were never easier for me to say or her to 2nd guess. i guess, i can live without u, but without u i'll be miserable at best"